A Life of Love

Pieces

Project has been amazing so far. All 10 days. But with any adventure, there are bound to be trip-ups, downfalls, sore parts…

My downfall has been finding friends. Prior to coming to NMB, I had heard lots of people who had gone on a summer project talk up the amazing community they found and the best friends that were made. I fully expected this to happen to me, almost to a greater extent because I have never had problems finding solid friendships wherever I go.

One slight part of the process I may have completely forgotten about was the “get to know you part” of every relationship. I despise that time. It holds such superficial moments - I am ready for the next step.

The first few days were great meeting times. I was thrown a lot of names and colleges and majors. All the while I wasn’t feeling real connections towards many girls. I felt behind and lonely. How was this so hard for me? The past 10 days have been extremely humbling, not having a niche I fit into. …Until last night!

Myself and a few other girls walked around Main St. and the downtown area, going into cute little shops and planning more adventures. Some of them came into our apartment afterwards and stayed up well into the night sharing girly stories and opening up to each other. I went to bed very content at these new, deeper friendships. Today I went to the beach and joined 5 other girls as we each went one by one sharing parts of our childhood up until our college years. We filled this time sharing the hard, the challenging, the good, and the spiritual.

It was nothing but stunningly beautiful.

I was shown love and was able to pass that onto the other women of God that completed the circle. We realized that on this team of 130 we could get lost in the mix, but we are all vessels and pieces of the radiant journey the Lord has for our group this summer. Whether we are being held together by the thinnest threads or hanging on tightly, we’re each in on this adventure together.

Second

Urgency

Coming to project, one of the biggest things I prayed I would gain was an urgency for the gospel. I wanted my heart to be changed and focused on the lost. I know this was something that was lacking in my heart when I could walk around Whitewater and down streets of packed drinking houses and feel little-to-no compassion for them.

Good news!

I am already feeling a stirring in my heart. Here in NMB, the past 5 days have been heavy on community, evangelism training, and prayer. With these things, we were taught to be conscious of our surroundings. Well, that was easier than I thought as the first night came around and the party house next door stayed up well into the night chanting and blaring music. Let’s just say - I was well aware of my surroundings. But as the days have gone on and our evangelism continued, my heart has begun to break. The houses next to us are missing something that will change their lives, they’re missing Jesus! I am becoming excited for the future evangelism training to make sharing most effective. I desire to learn how to speak in people that will communicate the gospel in the best way.

As my training and ministry continues I think of this verse that Paul wrote and am praying it over myself, my roommates, our staff, and our entire team.

Colossians 4:3 - “Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ.”

Hearts are changing! My heart is changing! The other good news is that I’m only 5 days in, there is so much more to come!

The Start

Today was our first full day. Our complete team of almost 130 is still working on the generic “Where do you go to school? What’s your major? What year in school are you?” questions. We do know a little more about each other after sleeping in some of the closest living quarters I’ve been in in a while and witnessing the buckets of sweat dripping off our neighbors once we step foot outside the apartments. I realized I will have to give up the dream of smelling halfway decent around 8:00am this morning after walking only 5 short blocks to a meeting. It happens I suppose.

We also learned a little about our team when it came to our first afternoon of outreach on the beach. Yes, coming in hot, evangelizing on the first full day. It was good to be reminded of why we are here and that we all have to start somewhere. We were put into pairs and sent out onto the beach with Knowing God Personally booklets (aka KGPs). i have gone through these with Christians only as a training tool and never really used it in a real-life situation, so I was a bit of a rookie. I went with my summer discipler and mentor, so I was able to see a great example of how to answer questions and such. As we approached our first couple I panicked. As ashamed I am to say that, my entire body felt completely unprepared for this upcoming conversation. My discipler turned to me and reminded me of Romans 1:15 -

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes…”

It is not my perfect or imperfect presentation that will change a person’s heart.

It is not what I’m wearing or how I answer a specific question that will make someone more receptive to the gospel.

Instead, it isonlyby the power of the Lord that hardened hearts can soften, that the wounded can be healed, that someone may be opened to salvation and be saved. This is wholly heartwarming. I can know that I’m not going to say something terrible and ruin that person’s chance of coming to know God. Praise the Lord, for it is that power that raised Jesus from the dead that lives in me (Romans 8:11). I can experience that same power, and I can use that to spread the good news!

And with that I entered almost an hour and a half conversation about the gospel to a couple that was clearly searching for something more in their life. That seed was planted and I know it was not in vain. So tonight, as I collapsed into the full bed that I share with another person, I am praying for Josh and Jessica. May our conversation continue to surface and may their interest of God grow.

NMB

Tomorrow is the day! North Myrtle Beach here I come!!

….well, after 2 days of driving. But one way or another, come Wednesday I will be there. Everyone asks “Wow are you excited?!?!” And I always want to jump into their lap and say “YESSSSSS!!!!” But, that never happens. I always do the wavering, “uhh…yeah?” hahah how lame. Thinking about it now, each and every person should have seen me jump up and down with overwhelming excitement. I am going to be living in South Carolina for the summer, getting a full-time job, living with a huge group of Christian girls, having the opportunity to hang out on the beach fairly often, and learning to evangelize way more than I know now. Woah - now that’s awesome.

Isaiah 50:7 - “Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will not be put to shame.”

2 Timothy 2:15 - “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of.”

Clearly, somewhere along the way, shame was an issue. This summer I pray that without shame, I will be determined, focused, and unwavering in my desire to do the will of God. I pray that I will present myself and the Lord in a manner worthy of the calling I have received and handle (and spread) the Good News with fervency.

Onward!

One Week

One week until I begin my journey south.
Am I packed? Not a chance. I don’t even have a list of ideas nor have I unpacked my stuff I brought home from college. That’s right, the planner does not have a plan for once. I am driving 19 hours, arriving in South Carolina, and living there for 11 weeks. I don’t have a job set in stone, I don’t know my living arrangements ahead of time, and I’m short almost $730. Yikes.
With all this happening so quickly, part of me is waiting for the panic to set in- I’ll wait until next Monday for that though. The other part of me (probably the majority) knows that even the unplanned, unknown will be used for His kingdom in the long run. I need to know and understand true reliance on the Lord. $730 is quite a bit to be short and quite a bit that I do not have available. Thus, I must trust on my God. This is the Lord preparing my heart for the next step. If I don’t rely on him within the preparations, how can I expect to rely on Him through the duration?

I know this summer has something big in store for me. Nothing, NOTHING, will hold me back. I am heading out into this adventure like Paul:
“I thank him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because he judged me faithful, appointing me to his service, though formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and insolent opponent. But I received mercy because I had acted ignorantly in unbelief, and the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus. The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost. But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life. (1 Timothy 1:12-16 ESV)

He has chosen me faithful and ready to do his ministry. I am willing to follow this example and be an example of the Lord’s goodness, faithfulness, and love. I have been given grace. What an opportunity that I cannot pass up.

May I come back full of experience, maturity, a grace-filled heart, and a real passion for the urgency of the gospel.